The Sex Talk

Whew! I’m glad you’re still with me. If you haven’t yet, I’d recommend reading my first post to see what the point of all this is. As porn becomes ever more mainstream, I wanted to provide a forum for people to talk and think about it. In particular, I want you to know that you are Hotter Than Porn, and aim to give you the tools necessary to become just that.

But before we get into the naughty details, we need to have a candid conversation about sex. I know, I know, it’s super awkward to talk about sex. Especially with a stranger over internet! And is this even a real conversation?

Sex is Core to the Human Experience

Talking about sex may feel inappropriate. Maybe you were taught that sex is bad, or dirty, or super private, and are scared by it. Maybe you’re religious, so you had to save yourself for marriage and put bad thoughts out of your mind. That’s perfectly fine; it makes you unique. But you know what? Sex isn’t bad. It doesn’t have to be scary. In fact, it’s wonderful. Sex a core part of being human.

Good sex is something you want to come back for again and again and again (pun intended). God commanded Adam and Even to have sex. In fact, there’s an entire book in the Old Testament about great sex! Sex is the ultimate way to show love, support, acceptance, patience, and other godly emotions. Sex is one of the holiest experiences you can have. Say it with me: “I can be holy, religious, pure, and have mind-blowing sex that’s Hotter Than Porn!”

Sex and Love

How do you achieve that? You need to turn “having sex” into “making love.” Love is important. Jesus taught that it’s the most important human trait. There are a lot of data that show outcomes for children improve dramatically in a two-parent home. And when your sex becomes n expression of love, it becomes Better Than Porn.

One of the phrases I’ve seen/read/heard and that I vehemently disagree with is:

It’s not Love, it’s just Sex

I know there are a lot of men and women who are very loose with sex. They think sex is just sex, an act. Truth be told, random, casual sex, one-night-stands, multiple partners, and the like can be awesome. But I firmly believe that when sex is used as an expression of love between two people, it is much, much better. You need love to have great sex. But the opposite true as well: I believe to love, to really love your partner, you need to have sex. Regularly. Frequently. Passionate, hot, messy, sex.

What is Sex?

I know some of you are thinking: “cool it, Buster! I don’t have time or energy for sex all the time!” Let me make an assumption here: I think you’re equating “sex” with “intercourse.” I get it – you have to find a time and place for it, maybe you have to be in the right mood, maybe it takes a long time to get you going.

Human sexuality is much, much more than intercourse. Being sexual means holding hands with your partner. Cuddling to watch a movie. Making out. Texting love notes. Sexting. Little glances at each other when you’re in public. Missing your partner when you’re away. Getting a back rub. Masturbating. Masturbating your partner. Watching porn. It’s all there. It’s all part of the experience. That’s why men and women watch porn. It’s a part of their sexuality, which as I’ve described, is central to the human experience.

What About Porn?

You may hate porn. That’s fine. There will be a lot on this blog that can help you if you don’t want porn in your life (or love life). But just understand that for most people, porn is part of their humanity. It’s a natural thing to be curious about and turned on by. But you should feel empowered, empowered that porn is just a small, teeny, insignificant part of human sex. And that if you love your partner, you can satisfy him or her with an almost unlimited capacity for sex. See that list in the previous paragraph? There are literally 10 things on it that have nothing to do with porn. I can’t pretend I’ll make your partner stop looking at porn. But I can help you feel hotter, be hotter, move hotter, and have hotter sex than porn.

Some of you may be on the fence about porn. Or even kinda like it. Welcome to the club! You’re human! Porn gives us the unique ability to experience a part of our sexuality that we couldn’t otherwise access. But please understand – there is so much to sex outside of porn. I believe that porn can be a part of an awesome love life, but only a part. And if your partner is someone who fits in the previous paragraph, then shelve the porn. For now. Focus on him or her, how wonderfully sexual you are together. Remember that porn is a small part of your overall sexuality, and that sexuality is based on loving your partner wholly. If you understand that, you’re also on the path to being Hotter Than Porn.

#HTB #HotterThanPorn